i was bending down to pick up the contents of my bag that had cascaded onto the floor this morning on my way to work & my arm grazed my knee. i could feel the bumpy, scratchiness of the wound that never really healed there a few years ago.

 i got to thinking about scars.

the one on my knee is from crashing a friend’s moped about five years ago. i turned too sharply & my knee conveniently landed in the shattered glass of the rear-view mirror. ouch. after a doctor’s visit to remove the glass, i was left with a crinkly mess of a knee & it has never quite gone back to normal. i have scars on my big toes from years of dance classes – it seems the bruises & blisters that inhabited there through ballet class after ballet class (hardening by the day) have left my feet  forever knotty & brambled. i have a pencil eraser-sized scar on my right shin from having chickenpox when i was younger. (i got sick on my 10th birthday & since my brother & i share our day of birth, my mom decided not to cancel the joint party we were having. so i had to sit inside & watch all our friends playing in the backyard while i was cooped up in my room.. it could’ve been worse: my mom & aunts treated me like a princess that day, waiting on me hand & foot.)

i kind of like my scars. they are sort of like permanent memories. it seems weird to me that our bodies stretch & shape into the sizes they are when we fully grow & that our scars & blemishes stretch & shape too, many of them still as visible years after they were formed.

 call me crazy, but i sort of like looking down & seeing the pox scar on my shin & remembering the carefree days of youth. i like seeing my bumpy knee & remembering being crazy with high school friends. i like seeing my messed-up feet & feeling thankful for the discipline & dedication that years of dance class has instilled within me.

scars are like visible signs of growth. the hardy ones live on, through stretching, shrinking, growing & getting older. the seasons can’t mess with them. the weather can’t touch ’em. they’re there for good.

permamence is so beautiful sometimes.


One Response

  1. i dig it

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